recently i got a little curious and started looking at the analytics for evilontwolegs.com, which, in addition to stats on page hits and such, also includes a list of google search terms that have led people to the site. usually people find our site searching for horror icons like jason and michael myers… or by looking for leg-related terms (“evil legs” is a popular one, as is “between legs,” predictably). not all are so obvious tho, so i thought it might be fun to look at some of the more interesting search phrases that have led people to eo2l, which i’ve broken down into logical categories below.

legs

it never occurred to me when choosing the name ‘evil on two legs’ that i’d be inviting leg fetishists everywhere to the site, but that appears to be true, as “[insert celebrity name here] legs” is a very popular way of stumbling across this blog. below are the most popular of these searches linked to an image to save leg-lovers everywhere valuable time.

• gabrielle anwar legs
• linda blair legs
• danielle harris legs
• daniel harris legs

people who probably didn’t find what they were looking for

just based on the search terms, i’m often confident that when people arrive at our site they find what they’re looking for. search phrases like “a site where they talk about slasher films” is a prime example, as is “that site called evilontwolegs.” there are times, however, when i’m a bit confused as to how a search term led to our site… and fairly confident that visitors likely found only disappointment once arriving here.

• animated gif chicken head cut off
• nude saxophone
• animated satanic rape
• camp wanna suck+dvd animal
• chicken head tilt
• christmas music podcasts
• don’t push the evil teddy bear
• gravestone epitaphs for hamlet
• robert klien / i can’t stop my leg video
• wilfred owen masculinity

movies i want to see

our site focuses primarily on film, so it’s no surprise that many people find their way here in an attempt to name a specific film based on certain plot elements because they’ve forgotten the film’s title. the people below likely did not find information on the films they were searching for here. which is unfortunate because, based on their plot elements alone, i desperately wish to see all of these films.

• film bodyguard sniper priest tongue
• charles bronson + horror film go in your mouth
• movie about vampire and submarine in belly
• ballet dancers in surgical masks
• statue of liberty “evil”
• my name is michael caine and i’m a nosy neighbor

questions

people search for things to obtain answers, so often search terms take the form of straight-forward inquiries. the questions below led people directly to this site, and to help these people out, i’ll answer the questions to the best of my ability.

• 80s horror film kids at camp with a prank played on a guy and is burning
  (the film you’re looking for is the burning.)
• Clive Barker’s jericho “end of the game” suck
  (yes, it did.)
• Explain ending of mulberry st. movie
  (despite the authoritative tone of your question, i’m afraid i can’t help you with that one.)
• I don’t understand one missed call
  (join the club. you can be treasurer.)
• Is meatloaf in planet terror
  (no.)
• Is Rob Zombies director’s cut just like the theatrical edition
  (no. it’s somewhat better.)
• Is Wrong Turn 2 Dead End okay for kids
  (NO!)
• Jason’s wife in Friday the 13th
  (wtf?)
• Things Jeremy Stoltz would find interesting
  (sports.)
• What does Danielle Harris likes to be called
  (danielle harris. ms. harris, if you’re nasty.)
• What is the best version of Rob Zombie’s Halloween
  (likely the unrated director’s cut 3-disc edition, coming to dvd this october.)
• What do the 3 seductresses represent in Bram Stokers Dracula
  (they represent the opposite of the idealized Victorian lady, being sexually aggressive and anti-maternal: instead of nurturing children, they eat them.)
• What kind of knife does Michael Myers use
  (a butcher knife. also known as a chef knife.)
• Who would win in a fight Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees
  (a tough question. it would probably depend on which version of jason is fighting… scrawny, easily beaten bag-head jason, much larger and stronger zombie jason or invincible space jason? in most cases, i’d bet on jason… he’s tougher and machetes have longer reach than kitchen knives.)

that’s it for our first look at google search terms… don’t forget that our name-that-movie-super-amazing-fun-time contest is still currently open for submissions! a winner will be announced next week.