Happy Halloween! In celebration of today’s costume-filled holiday, we continue our look into the fashion sense of horror film characters with an examination of the residents of Haddonfield, IL from John Carpenter’s 1978 classic, Halloween. As with our previous posts, we’ve invited A GIRL to assist us in our sartorial analysis.

Jon: Back in the 80s, my little cousin had a “My Buddy” doll that looked just like this guy – right down to its striped shirt, creepy smile, and bug-eyed expression.

Corey: While many have assumed Judith and this young man just had sex during this scene, I have an alternate interpretation of their interaction. Taking into consideration Judith’s toplessness when Michael finds her and the speed with which this man exits while pulling on his shirt, I’m pretty sure this guy is simply a clothing burglar who just stole her shirt.

A GIRL: Homemade costumes can be creative and whimsical, or they can be ambiguous and drab. The reader may decide which category Crocheted Potholder belongs.

Corey: I can has burt-day cake?

Jon: I know he’s going to grow up to be the Shape, but that fluffy, intricate lace around his neck doesn’t say “I’m evil on two legs” as much as it says “I’m Little Lord Fauntleroy.”

A GIRL: Long before Steven King introduced us to Pennywise, little Mikey Myers knew instinctively that clowns are scary and evil. He has wisely chosen to add the correct wickedly sharp accessory to his costume to accentuate this fact. (Note that a cleaver can be substituted if all the knives are dirty and/or imbedded in someone’s chest cavity.)

Jon:
Shake it to the LEFT, shake it to the right.
Come on baby, you know what I like.
Shake it real funky, shake it real low.
Shake it ’til you can’t shake it no mo’.

Corey: And here comes Loomis around the corner… he’s pulling ahead of the hospital administrator… Oh, he’s cut him off and slammed him into the guard rail! The administrator is careening out of control and has burst into flames!

A GIRL: Fashion missteps can negatively impact interactions among even the most serious-minded professionals. Here, a very properly attired hospital administrator feels the need to distance himself from Dr. Loomis, who is attempting, yet so sadly failing, to get down with the brown (polyester).

Corey: From the “No One Will Be Surprised When You Come Out Of The Closet Your Senior Year” line of Halloween costumes.

Jon: Meet the first mate of the good ship lollipop.

A GIRL: Help! I’m being attacked by an inexplicable Halloween decoration of some sort!

Jon: For the life of me, I can’t remember what the girl in the middle is saying, but in my mind she’s saying “Oh no you DIDN’T, Michael.”

Corey: I’ve always been told to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Apparently Laurie has aspirations of being a 60 year old librarian, Lynda envisions a future as a leprechaun and Annie wants to be a man.

A GIRL: These ladies are all suffering from a severe attack of 70s hair. It seems all that silly ozone we used to have really brought on the frizzies. Good thing we got rid of it.

Corey: Not many shoes come with warning labels, but I’m certain these are the only shoes that come with one that contains the word “vertigo.”

Jon: Those boots were made for walkin’, stompin’, and feelin’ sassy. But, sadly, not for runnin’ away from slashers.

A GIRL: What young girl doesn’t have fond memories of her first pair of stripper shoes? Of course, back in the 70s it was hard to come by the preferred style of flashing lights embedded in polymers, so Lynda gamely makes do with some raffia and a heartfelt butt waggle.

Jon: Ok, I know this is a post about the fashion of clothing, but I’m going to diverge and ponder the wisdom of designing curtains that only cover the bottom half of a window.

Corey: And I question the utility of nailing your hat to the wall.

A GIRL: From the Laura Ashley “Domestic Despair” collection, this soul-crushingly mundane outfit comes in Baleful Brown or Gloomy Green (pictured). Matching Depression Compression tights not included.

Corey: And so began the short-lived 1970s trend of squash, pumpkins and gourds as fashion accessories.

A GIRL: Here Laurie makes the common mistake of choosing an accessory which is disproportionate to the rest of her outfit. A small squash or melon would be much more appropriate than this distractingly sized pumpkin, which would be better paired with a full skirt. Good try with the bold color choice, though.

Jon: The pumpkin, pocketbook, and cardigan she holds in her arms are all domestic items that symbolize Laurie’s role as caretaker. She’s having trouble carrying all that stuff because she’s finding her role to be increasingly difficult. Earlier versions of this sequence weren’t as subtle, as she was also holding a pot roast, a rolling pin, a telephone, and a Chihuahua.

Jon: I guess you simply HAVE to take confident, man-sized strides if you’re gonna pull off wearing nothing more than yellow stockings and a giant white shirt.

Corey: This scene had women across the country foregoing pants for yellow knee-high socks and afghans.

A GIRL: The proper use of tube socks can add a lot of versatility to an otherwise limited ensemble. Normally one would feel vulnerable roaming the streets in just an oversized shirt, but just add long bright yellow socks, and presto! The wearer is warm and snug and no longer overexposed.

Jon: Dr. Loomis is as beige as a baked potato. But the expression on his face says that he’s just done something very randy indeed.

Corey: When I look at Loomis here, this is what I think of.

A GIRL: Dr. Loomis dons a rumpled overcoat to create a somewhat unconvincing Columbo costume. The overall effect would be improved by adding a disheveled toupee and adopting a pose of befuddled inquiry.

A GIRL: This is what happens when someone not very clever tries to come up with a clever costume. The Ghost of Woody Allen was a difficult concept to actualize, and sadly everyone thinks this is Ghost of Buddy Holly. This is understandable and should have been foreseen, since although Woody’s career may be dead, the man himself is apparently not.

Jon: NOTHING is scarier than a ghost with giant googly eyes.

Corey: While crude, this may be the first outfit we’ve looked at that was created by the character themself. The implication of this outfit is that after killing Bob downstairs, Michael found some scissors, went to the linen closet and found a sheet and then cut out tiny eye holes. I’ve never understood why Michael would go to all this trouble, but maybe they had some Home-Ec classes at Smith’s Grove Sanitarium and he was feeling domestic.

Jon: Michael’s down for the count now, but he’s still got a little Captain in him.

Corey: With several pockets capable of holding all your knives, rope, breath mints and asthma medication, Michael’s Parisian jumpsuit is both trendy and functional.

A GIRL: Michael demonstrates the versatility of the workman’s coverall. Everyone knows they allow excellent range of motion during killing rampages, but here we see that they are also very comfortable when donned for a little dirt nap.