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Tentacle Crime Go! – Final Girl’s Bloggenaire Interview With Corey

Corey — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:58:59 +0000

stacie ponder over at final girl has been doing her own unique brand of interviews with various horror blog writers, referred to as the “bloggenaire interviews.” much to my giddy excitement, today my answers to her ‘oh-those-are-so-stacie-esque’ queries were posted on her site. it’s not every day that you get featured on your favorite horror site, so at the risk of shameless self-promotion, here’s a link to my interview at stacie’s site (and i’ve also reproduced her q&a below). if you run a horror blog yourself and would like to take part in her questionnaire, visit this post for instructions.

Reading Corey’s answers, I found out some interesting things regarding the genesis of Evil on Two Legs, one of Final Girl’s oldest and raddest cyber-friends. SOME VERY INTERESTING THINGS. What I didn’t find out, however, is why he eschews capital letters so very much! Oh well, next time.

1) What’s the key moment that led you to click that “Start Your Blog” button?

Eo2L originally existed in 2000 as a more traditional website with reviews and articles dealing with the slasher genre, organized by film. It lasted for a few years until I shut it down, due to a lack of time to devote to it. (The following is absolutely true, and not just me brown-nosing.). In 2007, I came across finalgirl.blogspot.com and began reading it chronologically from the beginning, leaving comments as I went. I was impressed by the combination of a highly personal and conversational writing style with the focus on a singular subject matter (horror films). Days later, when I got caught up to the current post, I decided that, with the help of my best friend Jon, I was going to resurrect Eo2L as a horror blog focusing on slasher films. So yeah. Basically, I ripped you off. Sorry ‘bout that.

2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases “morbid”, “aesthetic”, and “electromagnetic”.

Like most horror blogs, Eo2L is a contradiction. Devoted to an undeniably morbid topic (the cinematic portrayal of young adults being murdered by masked psychopaths with sharp objects), our site approaches this subject matter with humor, passion and a cartoony visual aesthetic. Many of the anagrams for the name of our site (e.g., Loveliest Gown, Legit Snow Love), like many of those for the word electromagnetic (e.g., Arctic Melee Tong, Tentacle Crime Go!, Cancer Gem Toilet), make little sense but would be great titles for the prequel to John Carpenter’s The Thing.

3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I’m always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered “bad”? Why or why not?

The biggest crime a film can commit is being dull. I enjoy almost any film that holds my attention, regardless of why. It’s fantastic when that reason is talented filmmaking, but I can’t deny that I’m mesmerized by inept storytelling, nonsensical plots and bizarre direction (e.g., H2 or anything by Dr. Uwe Boll).

4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It’s true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It’s horrible.

This sounds like a decent setup for a made-for-television SyFy thriller. Jimmy Buffett could direct, star in, and write a song for it. Maybe call it Carnivoritaville?

Holy fucking shit, Stacie can’t stand Jimmy Buffett!

5) What’s the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?

Is that the front of the pants or the back? Depending on which, it’d either be Halloween (1978) or Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood.

6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.

Not a huge fan, but this question prompted me to look her up on IMDB. Did you know she’s the only female in John Carpenter’s The Thing? She’s the voice of the chess computer. That’s the kind of juicy role you can only get by being married to the director.

Corey’s time in High School was…well, it was weird.

7) Why should people bother to read your blog?

Three words: Sexy Sidebar Widgets.

8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?

While they quickly changed their age requirement and put strict restrictions on what could and could not be asked for, the Make-a-Wish Foundation grudgingly granted his wish for 100 abandoned warehouse real estate holdings, a dedicated team of electrical and mechanical engineers, 10 pig masks and (I quote) “a spiffy red/black cape that doesn’t make me look fat.”

9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they’re so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don’t, see if I care.

a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching “deviant” entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we “belong” and we’re truly part of a group.

Horror films are, in many ways, comparable to roller-coaster rides. You get all the positive aspects of a traumatic experience (excitement, adrenaline, etc.) without the inconvenience of actually dying. There’s also something to be said for the idea that horror films are a way to deal with our fears in a controlled setting that, logically, offers little danger but emotionally feels quite real. Death is, of course, the ultimate fear – and maybe horror films allow us to come to a better understanding of it. Or, less optimistically, perhaps they strengthen our own personal denial of death since we experience it through the characters in films over and over again, and yet are still fine once the credits roll.

10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?

1981 is the bee’s knees. In addition to being THE year for slasher films (Halloween 2, My Bloody Valentine, Friday the 13th part 2, The Burning, The Prowler) 1981 also gave us Saturday the 14th. Case closed.

11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?

I know, right? It’s like they took a film canister and filled it with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a bunch of croissants, two servings of crazy and ten servings of awesome and shook it all around.

12) What’s your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Or Jaws.

13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie’s Halloween?

They’re big Nazareth fans?

Love does indeed hurt. So do knives. And sometimes, love hurts just like a knife.

14) What are your funereal wishes?

Um, eternal life? Unless that involves sparkling in the sunlight.

15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It’s not like she’s really done much to deserve it, but there it is.

You’re a weirdo. In a good way.

16) You’re on a sinking ghost ship that’s being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?

“LSD is not as fun as I was hoping.”

17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.

That’s a relief. I was beginning to wonder.

18) Do you know where I can get some lye?

Yeah, try www.aaa-chemicals.com and search fo… HEY!

19) Weren’t you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?

Dude, that was Sa-WEET.

20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?

Like most Gen-Xers, I loved the 1980s. And I’m pretty fond of our current one, actually.

21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws

“5) a Jaws” made me laugh, but I’d have to go with #1. Assuming the “no sparkle” rule from before.

22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?

What am I supposed to do, sit around and wait for you? And I can’t do that-there’s no turning back. I need time to move on, I need love to feel strong ’cause I’ve had time to think it through. And maybe I’m too good for you. Ohh. Oh.

I’d like to caption this with “Which witch is which?”, but that wouldn’t make sense.

23) What’s something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn’t ask?

If we’d known how many leg fetishists Google would mistakenly filter to our site – we might have chosen a different name.

The Bloody-Disgusting Horror Blogger Awards

Corey — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 01:47:57 +0000

in response to total film’s rather bizarre horror blog awards nominee list (four out of five of which are not blogs at all), one of the nominees (bloody-disgusting) is running their own horror blogger awards.

the nominee list is comprised of 63 personal horror blogs, many of which you’ll undoubtedly be familiar with (including eo2l). however, there are a lot on the list that i haven’t seen before and, if you’re anything like me, you’re looking forward to going through the list thoroughly, familiarizing yourself with those sites that you haven’t run across before.

so stop lolly-gagging here and head over to the bloody-disgusting blog awards page and start going through that list. and be sure to cast a vote for your favorite of the blogs before the deadline of february 12th! no pressure to make your vote for this site… we’re just happy to have our name on a nominee list that includes so many of the blogs we visit and read daily.

if this is your first visit to evilontwolegs.com because you found us on the list of nominees, here are a few of our more popular past posts for you take a gander at.

Blog Awards!

Corey — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:47:32 +0000

Jon
jon@evilontwolegs.com

January is not only the time for great retrospectives and “best of lists” from the online horror community, but also awards. Eo2L would like to thank Maryanne from The Spooky Brew for nominating us for a Kreativ Blogger Award, Johnny Sandman from The Paradise of Horror for the One Lovely Blog Award and Chris at Fascination With Fear for the Fantastically Frightening Award (created by Day of the Woman‘s BJ-C). However, with great awards come great responsibilities. Each of these awards suggest that you pass the award on to others (7 others for the Kreativ Blogger Award, 15 for the One Lovely Blog Award and an unspecified number for The Fantastically Frightening Award). The Fantastically Frightening Award also requests that you specify why you’re passing the award on to each blog. The Kreativ Blogger Award has a few more rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the Kreativ Blogger Award logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated

Items 1-3 have been taken care of, so here are some things you might not know about the folks behind Evil on Two Legs.

Corey

I fall asleep to a different DVD commentary track every night. I have a hard time sleeping without one playing.
My wife loves the Saw series but was terrified by The Grudge and refuses to watch any of Paranormal Activity.
At least at home, I watch all horror films with my two schnauzers, Mulder & Servo. It’s unclear if they enjoy the genre.
My favorite horror film is Halloween. The first horror film I ever saw was Halloween.
In high school I worked as a telemarketer. I hated doing it just as much as you hated me calling.
For years I insulted and bashed the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer based only on its name and film version. It is now my favorite show of all time.
In college I was fired from a video store for stealing a VHS of Father of the Bride 2. In addition to being angry because I was innocent, I was upset they thought my taste was that bad.

Jon

In college, I sold Neil Gaiman a bagel sandwich (it was an egg and cheese on onion).
I think yodeling is interesting.
I will watch any movie with the words “devil,” “thing,” or “beyond” in its title.
As much as I love them, I rarely watch films twice in their entirety. Some exceptions are: Alien, Dawn of the Dead, Psycho, Frankenstein (1931), City of Lost Children, and Blade Runner.
I think lolcats are a little bit horrifying.
The first film I ever saw (horror or otherwise) was The Beast Must Die. The first film I ever saw at a movie theater was Love at First Bite.
If I were granted three wishes, I would spend one of them bringing back the Joe Bob Briggs TV show “Monstervision.”

For the sake of brevity, we’ve decided to combine our nominations for all three awards into one short list. These are sites that we love that have not already received these awards (to the best of our knowledge) that we think deserve a special shout out. If you are on this list, feel free to pick your own award from the three (or, if you’re greedy… grab ‘em all!). Given that all of these sites are horror related, I’d think you’d go for the Fantastically Frightening award… but if roses and teacups are more your thing, more power to you. Lastly, realize there are hundreds nay thousands of deserving sites out there, so please do not be offended if you’ve been overlooked by these viral award things. We try to keep our blog roll (see sidebar) updated with the active horror blogs that we enjoy, but even that is just a sampling of the quality sites out there. If you are a horror blogger that puts time, energy and passion into your site, then please consider yourself a recipient, from us, of these awards as well.

Final Girl
One of the most unique and consistently entertaining voices in the horror blogging community. If you’re not reading Final Girl, you’re not doing it right.

Kindertrauma
If it scared you as a kid, you’ll find it here. And you’ll love it.

Freddy in Space
With recent posts like “The Top 25 Kills of the Last 10 Years” and “Cool Shit on Ebay,” this blog feels a lot like it’s being written just for us. But it’s probably ok if you like it too.

Frankensteinia
All Frankenstein, all the time.

Vegan Voorhees
Perhaps the only person we can definitively say watches more slashers than either of us. This site is a little slice of slasher film heaven.

No Room in Hell
Slickly designed and smartly written, No Room in Hell is another horror blog written by two friends.

The Horror Section
In addition to its nostalgia-laden content, just the design of this site will instantly transport you back to when you were just discovering horror films and each oversized VHS box in the video store held a mystique that’s difficult to find in the DVD and internet age.

Update: Somehow it escaped our notice that No Room In Hell bestowed upon us the esteemed Zombie Chicken Award. Can you feel the love? Well, hopefully we can pass some of that love on… The blogs we nominated above should feel free to include the Zombie Chicken Award among their possible award options as well. Here’s the description:

The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words.

Horror Community Highlights – October 23, 2009

Jon — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:30:08 +0000

Illustrations for the Poetical Works of Edgar Allan Poe
Golden Age Comic Book Stories
Edmund Dulac’s illustrations complement Poe’s work, but they’re brilliant enough to also stand on their own.
Zombie Holocaust (1980)
Planet of Terror
I’ll give a shout out to any website that rates movies according to these categories: Fear, Gore, Entertainment, Creepiness, and T&A Factor.
Visceral Visionaries: The Cloisters
The Vault of Horror
B-Sol’s photos from his tour of a collection of medieval artwork proves why the phrase “going medieval” means really horrific things are about the happen.
Horror Bloggers Reveal Their Weaknesses
HorrorBlips.Com
Read this to find out what scares even the most hardened horror bloggers.
Paradise Profiles: Mental Kavity
Paradise of Horror
This is the first in what I hope is an ongoing series that profiles the online horror community.
The Thing: Fully Sweded
Kindertrauma
They’re Norwegians, Mac.

email suggestions for next week’s community highlights to jon@evilontwolegs.com

Horror Community Highlights – August 14, 2009

Jon — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:43:05 +0000

The Sun Goes Down Friday Night
The Horror Section
A list of “dark”-themed movie posters. “The Town that Dreaded Sundown” is my favorite.
Putting the “Nails” in the Coffin: Jason Voorhees
Femme Fright
Check out this adorable how-to video from Femme Fright.
Isle of the Doomed
The Horrors of It All
A particularly fun read this time. It’s from the 1953 comic Mysteries Weird and Strange.
TRAILER TRASH: Tim Burton Edition!
The Vault of Horror
Some Tim Burton trailers to whet your appetite for his upcoming Alice in Wonderland.
Bride Ballyhoo
Frankensteinia
These historic ads for Whale’s sophomore film are just plain funny and fascinating.
THE TOP 10 MUST SEE (but not must see very often) HORROR FILMS
Day of the Woman
A list of films you should see, but only once or not that often, is a really smart and intriguing idea for a post.
Win Last House on the Left Remake on DVD
Horror-Movies.ca
Free swag!
Entertainment Weekly Does It Again
I Love Horror
Entertainment Weekly’s list of “best horror films” of the past two decades is bound to raise some eyebrows.
This is Why Twilight is Ruining the World
Day of the Woman
It really sucks that the closest thing to Beetlemania that I’ll ever witness is probably this.

RSS Feeds

Corey — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:46:00 +0000

our rss feed has been acting strangely for quite some time, particularly within google reader. for some reason old posts keep showing up marked as new and given the wrong date. i think i’ve finally fixed the issue by routing our feed through feedburner. i don’t believe any changes are necessary for current subscribers as the feed should forward automatically, but if you continue experiencing problems i would recommend unsubscribing from our feed and adding it back using this address:

http://feeds2.feedburner.com/evilontwolegs

for those who do not subscribe and would like to, you can click the links below to do so or copy and paste them into your favorite rss reader (the links can also be found in our sidebar). the first link is our general feed of articles. the second is a feed exclusively of comments left at the site, which can be subscribed to as well.

Evilontwolegs Feed

Comments Feed

Contest Winners

Corey — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:24:00 +0000

Over at Eo2L headquarters, the answers have been tallied and the results analyzed, bringing the Name-That-Movie-Super-Amazing-Fun-Time Contest to a close. Just like in Beijing, we’re giving prizes to the first, second and third place winners. But before that, let’s take a look at the correct answers.

Halloween (1978)

Friday the 13th Part VII:
The New Blood

Friday the 13th

Behind the Mask:
The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Motel Hell

Slumber Party Massacre

Friday the 13th Part 2

Sleepaway Camp

Cherry Falls

Wrong Turn

Suspiria

The Burning

Maniac

An American Werewolf in London

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Haute Tension

The Prowler
(aka Rosemary’s Killer)

Rabid

And now for the winners! Given there were several ties for the top three spots, we’ve actually ended up with six winners.

Third Place:

Unkle Lancifer from Kindertrauma
Megan D. from Mechanically Separated Chicken
Nick

Second Place:

Michael H.

First Place:

Wes Fierce from horrorfilmmagazine.com
David

All winners will receive a small evilontwolegs.com branded item. Given the tie for first place, it was decided randomly that Wes Fierce would receive the copy of Clive Barker’s Jericho, but both of the first place winners will receive their choice of any Eo2L item. Both first place winners correctly named 17 of the 18 screenshots. Thanks to everyone who played, and look for another Eo2L contest soon!

Google Search Terms

Corey — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:09:00 +0000

recently i got a little curious and started looking at the analytics for evilontwolegs.com, which, in addition to stats on page hits and such, also includes a list of google search terms that have led people to the site. usually people find our site searching for horror icons like jason and michael myers… or by looking for leg-related terms (“evil legs” is a popular one, as is “between legs,” predictably). not all are so obvious tho, so i thought it might be fun to look at some of the more interesting search phrases that have led people to eo2l, which i’ve broken down into logical categories below.

legs

it never occurred to me when choosing the name ‘evil on two legs’ that i’d be inviting leg fetishists everywhere to the site, but that appears to be true, as “[insert celebrity name here] legs” is a very popular way of stumbling across this blog. below are the most popular of these searches linked to an image to save leg-lovers everywhere valuable time.

people who probably didn’t find what they were looking for

just based on the search terms, i’m often confident that when people arrive at our site they find what they’re looking for. search phrases like “a site where they talk about slasher films” is a prime example, as is “that site called evilontwolegs.” there are times, however, when i’m a bit confused as to how a search term led to our site… and fairly confident that visitors likely found only disappointment once arriving here.

animated gif chicken head cut off
nude saxophone
animated satanic rape
camp wanna suck+dvd animal
chicken head tilt
christmas music podcasts
don’t push the evil teddy bear
gravestone epitaphs for hamlet
robert klien / i can’t stop my leg video
wilfred owen masculinity

movies i want to see

our site focuses primarily on film, so it’s no surprise that many people find their way here in an attempt to name a specific film based on certain plot elements because they’ve forgotten the film’s title. the people below likely did not find information on the films they were searching for here. which is unfortunate because, based on their plot elements alone, i desperately wish to see all of these films.

film bodyguard sniper priest tongue
charles bronson + horror film go in your mouth
movie about vampire and submarine in belly
ballet dancers in surgical masks
statue of liberty “evil”
my name is michael caine and i’m a nosy neighbor

questions

people search for things to obtain answers, so often search terms take the form of straight-forward inquiries. the questions below led people directly to this site, and to help these people out, i’ll answer the questions to the best of my ability.

80s horror film kids at camp with a prank played on a guy and is burning
(the film you’re looking for is the burning.)
Clive Barker’s jericho “end of the game” suck
(yes, it did.)
Explain ending of mulberry st. movie
(despite the authoritative tone of your question, i’m afraid i can’t help you with that one.)
I don’t understand one missed call
(join the club. you can be treasurer.)
Is meatloaf in planet terror
(no.)
Is Rob Zombies director’s cut just like the theatrical edition
(no. it’s somewhat better.)
Is Wrong Turn 2 Dead End okay for kids
(NO!)
Jason’s wife in Friday the 13th
(wtf?)
Things Jeremy Stoltz would find interesting
(sports.)
What does Danielle Harris likes to be called
(danielle harris. ms. harris, if you’re nasty.)
What is the best version of Rob Zombie’s Halloween
(likely the unrated director’s cut 3-disc edition, coming to dvd this october.)
What do the 3 seductresses represent in Bram Stokers Dracula
(they represent the opposite of the idealized Victorian lady, being sexually aggressive and anti-maternal: instead of nurturing children, they eat them.)
What kind of knife does Michael Myers use
(a butcher knife. also known as a chef knife.)
Who would win in a fight Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees
(a tough question. it would probably depend on which version of jason is fighting… scrawny, easily beaten bag-head jason, much larger and stronger zombie jason or invincible space jason? in most cases, i’d bet on jason… he’s tougher and machetes have longer reach than kitchen knives.)

that’s it for our first look at google search terms… don’t forget that our name-that-movie-super-amazing-fun-time contest is still currently open for submissions! a winner will be announced next week.

New Logo and Super Fun Contest Time

Corey — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:38:00 +0000

hopefully you’ve noticed that eo2l has undergone a bit of a face-lift, with the most notable change being our spiffy new logo. the caricatures of michael myers and laurie strode were drawn by a promising new artist by the enigmatic name of Raven (her deviant art page). we’re so enamored with her ultra-cute version of everyone’s favorite fall season slasher, we’ve commissioned her for some more images for the site.

jon and i liked the logo so much that we’ve decided to have it printed on a few t-shirts and miscellaneous items through zazzle. i’m not arrogant enough to think there’s a huge market for items related to this blog, but i do think the halloween caricatures are just so damn cute that maybe one or two of you would be interested in seeing the storefront i put together for jon and myself. after all, if final girl, notlp or anchorwoman in peril had a t-shirt, i’d want to see it. below is a nifty flash panel, or you can see the entire store at zazzle.com/evilontwolegs.

in addition to showing you the store, we’ve also decided to give a few items away for free in our name-that-movie-super-amazing-fun-time contest!

as you may have noticed, we have a little slideshow of images from various horror films running in our sidebar. i’ve taken eighteen of those and listed them below. all you need to do is email corey@evilontwolegs.com, naming the film that each of the images comes from. please number your answers and state the full title, including sequel number. the person with the highest number correct will receive a free item of their choice (t-shirt, mousepad, mug) from our store and a copy of clive barker’s jericho for the xbox360 (or, how about a pinhead action figure if you don’t have a 360?). in the case of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random.

edit: we’re receiving some very accurate entries, but so far no one has gotten every one right, so don’t think just because you don’t know ever single one means you couldn’t win. we’ll also be supplying additional prizes to some of the runners-up, so get those entries in. :)

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

We’re on the lamb

Corey — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:45:00 +0000

what’s the LAMB, you may well be heard to ask? well, according to their site the LAMB is “a directory of movie blogs – a one-stop shop for readers and bloggers alike.” basically it’s a central hub for movie blogs and related information. we were just added to their listing, so check out our little profile. and be sure to visit some of the other blogs listed there as well… i haven’t had time to visit them all, but the ones i’ve seen have been incredibly well-written and many are horror-themed.

Time for a little vote casting

Corey — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:54:25 +0000

i have a large collection of horror films on dvd, some good… most not-so-good. i even have an entire shelf set aside for “horror-films-i-bought-but-which-look-so-bad-they-just-sit-on-this-shelf-unwatched-until-i-can-muster-the-proper -amount-of-self-hatred-required-to-force-myself-to-sit-through-them.” well, no more. jon and i are going to get through the films on this shelf, but we need your help. below i’ve listed five of these films. all you need to do is vote for the one you’d most liked to read about and jon and i will watch and review it. i’m sure there’s a few diamonds in the rough here… a spattering of quality films hidden on this shelf amongst the garbage. maybe we’ll hit one of those, maybe we won’t. but it should be interesting either way.

Blood Ranch
Four college students and an Iraq War vet, lost on a desert highway, encounter a terrified young woman with a black van on her trail. They survive the ensuing chase but their car doesn’t, forcing them to seek help at a nearby ranch. Only when it’s too late does the group learn that it’s crossed the threshold into Hell! Welcome to the Web, home to a bizarre cult of murderers, perverts and mental defectives, whose sacraments include mutilation, dismemberment, unspeakable sex acts, and slow, agonizing death for all who enter. None of their “guests” have ever made it out alive. Tonight may be different…but don’t count on it.

Cut
It’s been fifteen years since the director of the ill-fated horror flick HOT BLOODED was mysteriously and brutally murdered. Since then, the film has remained unfinished and sealed away. However, a young group of aspiring filmmakers and horror enthusiasts have seized the opportunity to complete the legendary film, and begin to film once again on location. But there was a reason the movie was never finished, and as students begin to disappear, the filmmakers begin to discover why.

H.P. Lovecraft’s The Tomb
A being known as “The Puppetmaster” holds victims captive in a tomb and tortures them.

The Last Horror Movie
A serial killer uses a horror video rental to lure his next victim. What begins as a teen slasher transforms into a disturbing journey through the mind of Max Parry, a mild mannered wedding photographer with a taste for human flesh.

Shredder
At an exclusive, secluded North American ski resort up on Mount Rocky Summit, brutal slashing, severing and beheading on a group of teenagers are taking place and are believed to be the work of a mysterious skier dressed in black.

Horror Community Highlights – August 20, 2010

Welcome

Jon — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:22:58 +0000

When looking for a phrase to summarize the spirit of slasher films, I’ve always been partial to “death on a cracker” (from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2). I even tried to convince Corey to name this blog after Chop Top’s immortal lines. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think Corey’s instincts are probably correct. “Evil on two legs” is a one-liner that perfectly summarizes all of the characteristics that embody the iconic knife-wielding villain. They are abstractly human, absurdly evil, and darkly funny. Fans of the genre know that this is an irresistible mixture. One of the subtexts for this project will be the exploration of the not-so-simple question: What makes slasher films such a guilty pleasure?

Another reason for this blog is that right now is an especially exciting time for slasher films. Of course, slasher films have been a constant presence in American cinema since its inception with films such as Hitchcock’s Psycho. But the genre, I would argue, suffered in the 90s, as chronicled by the deterioration of the Halloween films series, which Corey mentioned. And then there were the countless high-school melodramas masquerading as slasher films. You can drop a masked maniac in the middle of Dawson’s Creek and call it Scream, but you’ll still have all the post-pubescent schmaltz of Dawson’s Creek. Whether or not you enjoyed films such as Saw, Wolf Creek, Hostel, or The Devil’s Rejects, it is clear that the genre is reinventing itself. So an even more not-so-simple question is: What makes slasher films culturally relevant, now more than ever? I’m not sure exactly how, or even IF, we can begin to answer that. But at the very least this blog will be a testament to the fact that it’s an interesting time to be a fan.

Welcome to Evil On Two Legs

Corey — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:16:00 +0000

greetings and welcome to evil on two legs dot com. it’s likely you have two questions for me right now. 1) what is this site and 2) why’s it called that? shockingly, i have the answers to both those questions and i present them to you in a particular order (the order you asked).

evilontwolegs.com was originally launched in 2001 as a site dedicated to slasher films on dvd. after a short-lived run as a site mainly cataloging reviews and information about such films, i am now resurrecting it as a blog (a format that barely existed in 2001). my friend jon and i (and maybe a few other guest writers) will discuss various aspects of the horror genre. the focus will primarily be on slasher films and their impact over the last 30 odd years, but given our varying interests i can foresee us frequently veering off topic for various excursions into other aspects of the genre. i’m just an average horror enthusiast with little formal training in film criticism and an over-fondness for ellipses and lower-case letters, so there’s no real reason you should listen to what i have to say – but maybe you’ll you’ll give me a chance anyway. jon holds a PhD and currently teaches literature and film studies, so you’ll want to pay close attention when he speaks as there may be a pop quiz. he’s also a talented writer, which might help as well.

as for the name of this site… in halloween 4: the return of michael myers, dr. loomis utters these cryptic words:

We’re not talking about any ordinary prisoner! We are talking about evil on two legs.

as the series wore on, loomis resorted to sillier and sillier descriptions of michael’s inhumanity, but this one always stuck with me… at least partially because it opens the door to consideration of all sorts of new types of evil such as evil on one leg, evil on a pogo stick, evil on a tricycle, etc.

in the coming weeks we hope to present several new articles and discussions on horror films and related topics, so i hope you’ll check them out and leave us some comments letting us know what you think. tonite is the release of rob zombie’s halloween, so i imagine we’ll start with some impressions of that once we’ve seen it. after that i have a detailed look at the many faces of jason voorhees in the works, a look at the so-called video nasties from the UK in the early 80s and quite a few more ideas i’ll keep to myself for now. i’m not sure what jon and others may have up their sleeves, but i’m sure we’ll all discover soon enough. until then…