Horror DVD Releases – Week of July 14th, 2009

Corey
July 13, 2009
Posted by
corey@evilontwolegs.com

this week’s ‘must-see dvd’ is the spanish film [rec]. 2008’s quarantine is almost a shot-for-shot remake of [rec] and is notable for being the only remake i know of to be announced before the original was even released. both [rec] and its american remake are extraordinary films, but the spanish film should probably be viewed first if possible. while it’s often said that the two are so similar that seeing one is equivalent to seeing both, each film has its own strengths and weaknesses and fans of quarantine should certainly not overlook the original. [rec] has a stronger finale, both in terms of its openness to interpretation and superior creature design, so of the two, i prefer [rec]. utilizing the ‘found footage’ template seen in blair witch and cloverfield, [rec] is a claustrophobic and visceral zombie flick i often describe as “the film you wanted diary of the dead to be.”



(descriptions from netflix)

Pick of the Week

[REC] (2007)
Trapped in a quarantined Barcelona apartment building with residents, firefighters and a growing horde of ravenous zombies, television reporter Angela (Manuela Velasco) and her cameraman, Pablo, record brutal deaths and terrifying events while trying to stay alive. Filmed entirely from unseen Pablo’s point of view, this tension-filled Spanish horror film thrills viewers with its aggressive action. Paco Plaza and Jaume Balagueró direct.

Island of the Fishmen (1979)
After their prison barge goes down in the middle of the Caribbean, the doctor on board, Claude de Ross (Claudio Cassinelli), and a group of convicts washes ashore a remote island where mad scientist Prof. Ernest Marvin (Joseph Cotten) is conducting a series of horrific experiments. When the prisoners begin to disappear one by one, Ross suspects that they’ve fallen into the hands of Marvin’s grotesque creations.

Horrible (1981)
When bloodthirsty and unstoppable Mikos (George Eastman) miraculously recovers from an accident that should have claimed his life, Sgt. Ben Engleman (Charles Borromel) and a priest (Edmund Purdom) discover that Mikos’s indestructibility is the result of a nuclear experiment gone awry. Italian director Joe D’Amato helms this horror slashfest; Annie Belle, Hanja Kochansky, Katya Berger and Kasimir Berger co-star.

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
In this supernatural thriller, the Campbell family’s move to Connecticut takes a mysteriously dark turn when a series of shocking paranormal events reveals that their inviting new home is a former mortuary with a sordid past. Based on a true story, this terrifying tale stars Virginia Madsen and Martin Donovan as the well-meaning Campbell parents, Kyle Gallner as their cancer-stricken son and Elias Koteas as the enigmatic Rev. Nicholas Popescu.

Door Into Silence (1991)
After leaving his father’s funeral, businessman Melvin Devereaux (John Savage) sets off on a long drive home through the Louisiana back roads. Along the way, he finds himself ensnared in a horrifying labyrinth of absolute terror. Released in 1991, this psychological thriller is the last film written and directed by Lucio Fulci, the notorious B-movie legend known as the “Godfather of Gore.” Sandi Schultz co-stars.

OC Babes and the Slasher of Zombietown (2008)
Orange County, Calif. — home of glitz, glamour and ghouls — is the setting for this low-budget horror romp that finds a group of SoCal locals trapped in a bar, surrounded by zombies on the outside and (unbeknownst to them) a serial killer within. This wasn’t exactly what Sean (Vic Vasquez) and Ed (Brandon Shira) had in mind when they set out to celebrate the former’s 21st birthday, but then again, it’s not a typical night of rejection either.

The Fashion of Horror Villains

Cara
July 7, 2009
Posted by
cara@evilontwolegs.com

[from corey: join me in welcoming, cara, our newest writer to the regular staff! you may already be familiar with cara’s pithy commentary from our fashion articles and our comparison of twilight to let the right one in where she wrote using the pseudonym “A GIRL.”]



Are you are an aspiring horror villain, preparing diligently for a career in scaring and slashing and stabbing? Have you thought about your motivations? Should you be mysterious or bold? Openly terrifying or cunningly disguised? If you have settled on a persona, do you know how to convey it to the world? In short — what are you going to wear to achieve the right first impression with your victims? After all, you’re not going to get a second chance.

To help you get started on your malevolent makeover, let’s examine some popular villains skilled in presenting their message through their appearance.



Harry Warden (My Bloody Valentine)

Creating the right ensemble must have been a challenge for Harry. He must always be menacing, occasionally terrifying, all while keeping his identity secret. Harry probably thinks he has the perfect disguise, because he’s a miner and thus has good reason to wear an outfit exactly like the outfit worn by every single person around him. If he had thought this plan through though, he would realize that the coveralls and mask are perfect for escapades in or relatively near the mine, but in town it’s going to be a little suspicious if he doesn’t uncover his face. The ax is also a giveaway, as they are no longer a common urban accessory. At least in Pennsylvania.

Tip: Make sure your wardrobe is suitable for each location you plan on scourging.

The Creeper (Jeepers Creepers)

The Creeper is more monster than man, and therefore does not need a tailored look to get his point across. His face alone conveys the message “I am a scary mean monster and I am going to kill you.” Since his intentions are not complex, he needs little further visual embellishments. He has the freedom to choose clothing according only to utility, like his long pants which offer excellent leg protection when running through the corn and underbrush. On the other hand, I think he will find that his selection of a long coat is a mistake – it’s only a matter of time before that thing gets caught in a hay baler.

Tip: Remember that each item, no matter how irrelevant to your overall image, must be practical for your environment.

Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street)

There is a lot of room for Freddy to go wrong. He originates in the dream world and therefore can take on any appearance imaginable. If he were not disciplined, he could easily dilute his image by taking on too many forms. A fiend you don’t recognize doesn’t inspire much fear. But it’s possible Freddy goes a little too far in the other direction. Accessorizing with the claw is a good choice, since it is not only a practical and effective weapon, but also unique in appearance. This alone would have been enough to create an iconic look for Freddy. An incessant stripe-iness and a rather worse-for-wear fedora create a campy air, but then again maybe that’s just what he was going for.

Tip: It’s easy for your look to slip from spooky to silly. When in doubt, leave something out.

Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Dear, earnest Pinhead is my favorite of all evil beings because he perfectly conveys his wonderfully quirky evil personality in the unique image he presents. He’s come to torture, yes, but only because someone invited him over, and he takes a keen interest in the reactions to his efforts. His intellectual approach is represented by his long leather ensemble, a black version of the traditionally white mad scientist’s garb. The metal studs sprouting from his cute little bald head serve to distinguish him from lesser Cenobites, and their precise grid-like arrangement further emphasizes the structured and cerebral nature of his bloody pursuits.

Tip: Don’t be afraid to tweak an existing iconic look for your own purposes.

Samara (The Ring)

It’s increasingly difficult to come up with new and exciting ways to express the concept “evil drowned child”, especially when you have only the limited resources of an evil drowned child. Samara’s waterlogged dress and soggy hair just don’t give her a lot to work with. A less creative drenched girl might be content merely to vary the placement of her dirt stains. Instead, Samara creates a profoundly terrifying appearance just by the way she works the room. Her jerky movements and odd body contortions lend menacing movement to her heavy skirts, and she can vary the yurk factor by how much hair she flips into her face. You go, soggy girl!

Tip: Focus on what you can do with what you’ve got.

Santanico Pandemonium (From Dusk Till Dawn)

I dislike Ms. Pandemonium nearly as much as I adore Pinhead. She is appallingly uncomplex, and initially appears to make only a halfhearted attempt to present herself as evil by wearing red. However, I must admit that her costume is amusingly suitable for her character. Her representation of the stripper who disappointingly does not strip is a clever allusion to the misfortune of meeting a beautiful woman who is actually a ravenous bloodsucker who will bite your head off. Using an actual boa constrictor as a boa is much too punny for me, but I can see how it would go over well with some bar crowds.

Tip: You don’t have to create the most impressive image, just one that works for you.

Hopefully these examples will inspire you as you begin constructing your own horror villain look. Join us again next time as we take a look at famous slashers Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Leatherface and more…



Horror DVD Releases – Week of July 7th, 2009

Corey
July 5, 2009
Posted by
corey@evilontwolegs.com
(descriptions from netflix)

The Unborn (2009)
Tortured by frightening dreams at night and the ghost of a young boy during the day, young Casey (Odette Yustman) turns to a spiritual adviser (Gary Oldman) for help. Together, the two uncover and try to stop a powerful family curse dating back to the Nazi era. David S. Goyer writes and directs this supernatural thriller that also stars Cam Gigandet, Meagan Good and Jane Alexander.

Dead Wood (2007)
An inexorable force wants four friends dead and is bent on revealing numerous foreboding omens to let them know. Their wilderness weekend camping trip is about to get even creepier when they meet Ketsy (Nina Kwok), who suddenly appears. Co-starring Fergus March, Emily Juniper, John Samuel Worsey and Rebecca Craven, this well-crafted, special effects-filled British horror movie rises above its common premise to deliver truly frightening chills.

Films I Wish Were Real

Jon
June 30, 2009
Posted by
jon@evilontwolegs.com

I’m too embarrassed to disclose every detail of my fantasy life, but I don’t mind sharing the ones that involve horror films. So even though these films don’t exist, rest assured that if this website ever makes me stinking rich or somehow launches me into a career as a Hollywood producer, at least one of the following films will come to a theater near you.



Prawn of the Dead
directed by Larry Blamire

Tagline: The deadliest catch just got deadlier.

Plot: In the summer of 2005, the crew of Louisiana shrimp boat Laffitte Morte unleash a briny hell in the gulf when they discover a new species of anthropods living off the toxic waste of a sunken trash barge. Lance Henriksen stars as Bernard, the ship’s stalwart captain who must convince his inexperienced crew, including his little brother Jimmy, his stowaway daughter Sue, the greenhorn Edmond, and the mysterious Cajun cook Mr. Savoi, to risk life and livelihood to stop the mutant shrimp invasion before it can reach the unsuspecting fishing town of Port Petite.

Most Controversial Scene: While some may find the sea-monster sex scene merely gratuitous, Blamire treats it with the utmost sensitivity and proves even the goriest of monster-movies can be directed with a flair for the romantic if handled correctly.



Bikini Girls with Machine Guns
directed by Quentin Tarantino

Tagline: Hell hath no fury like a woman armed!

Plot: Director Quentin Tarantino returns to the screen with another grindhouse thriller. When a gang of vicious inmates from Raleigh, North Carolina make a daring escape from the Women’s Correctional Facility, they soon terrorize the small, southern town of Zebulon. Sherrif Jacob Richard is the only man with guts enough to stand up to this Dixie stampede of blood, booze, and blonde fury. After his friends and deputies abandon him, Jacob soon finds himself alone in a desperate, “high-noon” showdown with the gang’s beautiful but psychotic leader, Titania Santanna. The film stars Josh Brolin as Sherrif Jacob, and Cynthia Rothrock as Titania. The film aslo features an original soundtrack by The Kills, The Cramps, and Donita Sparks of L7.

Most Memorable Quote: “Don’t let their bikinis fool you. I’m telling you these women are concealing enough guns to blow this town to Hell and back and then back to Hell again!” — Sherrif Jacob Richard



The Book of Job
directed by Eli Roth

Tagline: And on the 8th day, God created horror.

Plot: Job is the most pious man in the world. But God and the Devil have a bitter argument over whether his virtue is truly sincere or simply the product of his good fortune and prosperity. To prove the Devil wrong, God allows the Devil to torture Job by destroying his house, killing all of his children, and mutilating his flesh. Through all of it, God wagers that Job will stay faithful and obedient. Eli Roth directs this horrific morality tale that stars Russel Crowe as a brawling, barrel-chested Job, Gilbert Gottfried as the loud, funny-looking Devil, and Samuel L. Jackson as the foul-mouthed and wildly unpredictable God of the old testament.

Goriest Moments: In an early scene, Job is tied to a large stone slab as the Devil slices the flesh from his upper right thigh with a large, rusty scythe while his terrified wife watches in horror from behind a nearby bush. In a later scene, the Devil savagely rips each festering boil from Job’s skin with a dull shard of glass as they wrestle in a large cauldron of oil and vinegar. In a deleted scene available only in the unrated DVD version of the film, God gets angry when it looks like he might lose the wager and dismembers the Devil’s tail by pinning it to a tree with a fork and then hacking it with his ceremonial golden axe.



Blue Velvet 2
directed by David Lynch

Tagline: She wore bluer velvet.

Plot: In the follow-up to Lynch’s controversial masterpiece, Dean Stockwell reprises his role as Ben, who is now reformed and the proprietor of the recently re-opened Slow Club. But Ben’s world turns upside down when a mysterious man in a lime-green cowboy hat presents him with a bag of toenail clippings. To make matters worse, Ben learns that his new lounge singer, Elizabeth, turns out to be the little sister of Dorothy, the woman he once terrorized. Elizabeth does not seem to know about Ben’s violent past, but her onstage behavior becomes increasingly erratic as she insists on only singing Jonathan Coulton’s “Blue Sunny Day.” Ben begins to question his own sanity and whether he can escape his past and finally find redemption.

Questions: Fans of this film have been asking about the significance of the singing garden gnome, as well as the blood-soaked paisley tie worn by Ben’s twin brother and the moss-covered tie worn by Frank in the dream sequence. In response to these questions, Lynch set the record straight in a recent tweet in which he said that all questions will soon be “harmonized in an automatic manner in the vision of all the people” and that you can always “know that, by knowing which, all things are known.”



Baudelaire’s Flowers of Evil
directed by Pascal Laugier

Tagline: His name rhymes with “scare.”

Plot: Fans of classic literature and torture porn can now be united in Laugier’s riveting adaptation of the French work that inspired the modernist movement in poetry. The film features an ensemble cast of international stars, including Mathieu Almaric as the ancient, binge-drinking “Le Vampire,” Christina Aguilera as the defiantly diseased and disgusting “Red-haired Beggar Girl,” Gary Oldman as the mysterious and seductive “Dancing Serpent,” and members of the Rolling Stones as “The Seven Old Men.”

From the DVD director’s commentary: “Benoit Lestang did all the brilliant special effects you’re seeing, and I should actually give him partial credit in prompting me to make this film. He fell asleep one day during the filming of Martyrs and he neglected to take the makeup off the actress. Her skin developed a pretty bad rash, and she had a terrible time driving to her hotel, because all this gooey stuff kept melting into her eyes. So the next day, he brought her flowers. They were so beautiful. But, in a way, they were also evil flowers, because, you see, he did a very bad thing in making her wear all that uncomfortable makeup. So I was thinking… flowers… evil… BAUDELAIRE! And voila! I knew I had to eventually make this film.”

Horror DVD Releases – Week of June 30th, 2009

Corey
June 29, 2009
Posted by
corey@evilontwolegs.com
(descriptions from netflix)

Header (2007)
While trying to provide for his ailing girlfriend, crooked ATF agent Stewart (Jake Suffian) becomes enmeshed in a nightmarish string of grisly murders involving deranged rednecks, deviant sex and the most disturbing act of vengeance ever imagined: the header. Based on Edward Lee’s classic novella, this unbelievably twisted horror movie co-stars Elliot V. Kotek as recently released ex-con Travis and Dick Mullaney as his creepy Grandpap.

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer (2008)
Years after his teammates’ bullying antics left him in the hospital, a cricketer returns to his Australian homeland to play again. Only this time, the game is vengeance, and he has the razor-fingered cricket gloves and nail-covered balls to prove it! As the death count rises, Scotland Yard sleuth Kim Reynolds (Stacey Edmonds) arrives in Sydney to assist local detectives Chance (Jai Koutrae) and Scott (Az Jackson) in this offbeat horror comedy.

Sea Beast (2008)
When a down-on-his-luck fishing boat captain (Corin Nemec) loses a crewmate on his last less-than-successful voyage, his fellow villagers join him in battling the savage sea creature that snatched the unfortunate sailor. The mutated anglerfish strikes again and again in this Sci-Fi Channel horror flick co-starring Miriam McDonald, Christie Laing, Gary Hudson and Brandon Jay McLaren. Paul Ziller directs.

The Garbage Man (2009)
Step inside the twisted mind of Tom (James Meredith), an unassuming garbage collector by day and a cold-blooded serial killer by night. Unable to resist the powerful voices in his head, Tom can’t stop himself from stalking and slaughtering innocent female victims. During the filming of this horror movie, director Hart D. Fisher tragically lost his girlfriend, who perished at the hands of a real-life murderer.

Hidden Floor (2006)
Between creepy neighbors in her new apartment complex and a sudden rash of mysterious deaths, single mother Min-young (Seo-hyeong Kim) lives in constant terror . To protect her daughter (Yoo-jung Kim), Min-young must face her fears and uncover her building’s terrible secret. Directed by Il-soon Kwon, this suspense-filled horror flick from Korea will keep viewers trembling in their seats … and looking over their shoulders.

Second Coming (2008)
When her twin sister is murdered under mysterious circumstances, Lora Gerritsen (Juliet Reeves) feels as if she’s lost part of herself. But through her grief, she senses her dearly departed sibling is trying to tell her something about the person who killed her. Bringing the guilty party to justice, however, will require Lora to assume her dead sister’s identity and risk her own life to lure the killer out into the open.

My Bloody Roommates (2008)
Four roommates at an all-girls school struggle to get along and handle tremendous pressure to succeed. When visions of a deadly fire begin tormenting one of them, the teens come face-to-face with terrifying forces from the past that want them dead. With plenty of spine-tingling thrills, this unsettling Korean horror movie co-stars Eun-Seong, Jin-yong Heo, Joo-ryeong Kim, Yeong-jin Sin and Ri-na Kim.

While She Was Out

Jon
June 25, 2009
Posted by
jon@evilontwolegs.com

Hitchcock once said, with his always wry sense of humor, that Psycho helped put murder back in the family, where it belongs. I’ve always taken this to mean that we don’t have to look further than our own backyard, or even our own skins, to find all the horror we can stomach. By this same logic, Susan Monford’s While She Was Out puts horror back in the American suburbia where, the film suggests, it’s been festering for a very long time. Just about every frame in the first half of the film reminds us that what we’re witnessing are the consequences of suburban expansion. Kim Basinger plays the role of Della, a battered and beleaguered housewife who lives in an expensive, but disheveled modern home in a prosperous gated community with her two kids and an over-worked, A-type alcoholic for a husband. Her only respite from all of this is a quick trip for wrapping paper to the sprawling, crowded shopping mall, where she can’t even find a place to park her giant SUV. And as if the parking situation weren’t bad enough, once inside Della also has to contend with obnoxious Stepford-wife suburbanites bragging about their husbands’ promotions that have paid for their swimming pools, large lawns, and salon-styled hair.

The message of the film is clear enough even after these first few scenes: the civility and trappings of suburban life is simply the pretense for something far more primitive and vicious lurking beneath it. But the film takes a turn towards the horrific when Della leaves the mall to be confronted by a vicious gang who attack her because she left them a note on their car chastising them for double parking. These particular hoodlums are, admittedly, a bit inexplicable in the way they’re so easily prompted to violence, as they seem to have no qualms over murdering a guard in well-lit parking lot, most likely covered by surveillance cameras. At this point, While She Was Out becomes far more allegorical than realistic. For instance, the gang is deliberately multi-ethnic, a parody of the globally-minded ethics of the United Colors of Benetton that Della might have been browsing inside the mall. They also parody the fear of those dangerous minorities and urban thugs that her gated community is so desperate to keep out. And I think it’s also deliberate that the gang’s leader, Chucky, is reminiscent of Krug from The Last House on the Left. In addition to their striking resemblance, both Chucky and Krug have no motivation other than being vicious and crazy.

The allegorical nature of this film is further reinforced by Della’s retreat into the dark confines of the forest beyond the illusory safety of her suburban bubble. She’s very much a “little red riding hood” alone in the woods with her own big bad wolf. But in this version of the fairy tale, her basket becomes a tool box, complete with a tire iron that she learns to wield in fairly gruesome fashion. The tool box is as deliberate as everything else in this film, particularly in the way it pays homage to slasher classics such as The Toolbox Murders, but especially the Slumber Party Massacre. Just as the girls in SPM band together to cut off the killer’s “drill,” Della uses her toolbox to turn the tables on her attackers. In doing so, she taps into hidden resources and reserves that enable her to embrace the wilder nature that’s been suppressed by her suburban confinement. Della’s no final girl. She’s a final woman, hear her roar!

This isn’t to say that there aren’t a few of problems with this film. There’s an odd scene in which the street-tough gang pour a 40 for their fallen while listening to Joy Division’s brooding, gothic classic “Day of the Lords.” I LOVE Joy Division, but it’s not the kind of music any self-respecting gangsta would ever listen to before a fight. Then again, these aren’t your ordinary street toughs, as Vingh taps into his inner-shaman and insists that Della has turned into an avenging spirit. And there are a few moments of painfully canned dialogue, as when Della delivers the lines “Where are you God” with enough melodrama and “ACTING!” to embarrass even SNL’s Master Thespian. Still, Basinger is terrific in just about every other scene. And the film’s final sequence is brilliant, in part because it’s punctuated so perfectly by Roxy Music’s ambiguous and creepy “In Every Dream There is a Heartache.” All in all, While She Was Out is a smart film with something very substantive to say about the way suburban culture might be damaging our better, and more primitive, natures.

Horror DVD Releases – Week of June 23th, 2009

Corey
June 22, 2009
Posted by
corey@evilontwolegs.com
(descriptions from netflix)

Hobgoblins 2 (2008)
It’s 20 years later, yet everything looks oddly the same in this sequel to the low-budget horror classic, which painstakingly creates the look of the original — from the killer puppets to the cheesy 1980s attire of its characters. Now in college, Kevin (Josh Mills) and his pals think the days of hobgoblin attacks are long gone. Unfortunately, they’re dead wrong. Roland Esquivel and Josh Green also star.

Simon Says (2006)
When five college pals head into the wilderness for a little rest and relaxation, they run headlong into Simon and Stanley (both played by Crispin Glover), backwoods twin brothers with a fondness for booby traps rigged with flying pickaxes. Now, the teens must claw their way out of the woods without springing one of the brothers’ ingeniously lethal snares. William Dear directs this gleefully gore-drenched film; Blake Lively co-stars.

War Wolves (2009)
Fresh from the battlefields of the Middle East, vet Jake Gabriel (director Michael Worth) faces a new enemy as he struggles to suppress the werewolf within after having been cursed with lycanthropy during a gunfight. John Saxon plays a commander sent to the States to apprehend Gabriel before he can infect others — little knowing that a trio of female soldiers from Gabriel’s unit is already pursuing the wolf man … for a very different reason.

Backwoods (2008)
A group of programmers is heading to an executive retreat in the wilderness of Northern California’s Jasper Park — where, two months earlier, a couple disappeared while camping. Will the computer geeks’ training prepare them for what ensues? When a friendly paintball game turns into a fight for survival against a band of lunatic locals, the nerds must show what they’re made of in this thriller starring Ryan Merriman and Haylie Duff.

Where Have all the Real Horror Films Gone?

Jon
June 20, 2009
Posted by
jon@evilontwolegs.com

Corey and I spent a weekend in NYC at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horror, and I’m still processing all the strange sights and sounds. We were witness to a horror-themed fashion show hosted by the one-and-only Gwar; we met a demented DVD salesman named Twisted Chris; I was nearly impaled by the over-sized spikes on the shoulders of Gwar’s Oderus Urungus; we saw Tom Savini single-handedly destroy the elaborately constructed curtains on the main stage as he made his surprise entrance to be the guest judge of a costume contest.

However, one of the more surprising things about the Fangoria convention was the recurring complaint offered by its guest speakers that the current trend of horror film remakes is bad–REALLY bad– for horror films. For instance, during the Last House on the Left panel discussion, the villains from the original film, (David Hess, Fred Lincoln, and Marc Sheffler) unanimously agreed that the remake of their film is, at best, simply a calculated effort to make money, and, at worst, a film that is helping to prevent real horror films from being made. David Hess explained it like this: what made the original film so subversive and powerful was that Wes Craven and the cast really had nothing to lose. They could take risks without worrying so much about a studio’s bottom line. Fred Lincoln speculated that another thing that made the film so powerful was its intimate and natural connection with the culture and zeitgeist of the 1970s, and so the film loses much of its original tone when transplanted to another decade. The result is that we’re watching a replica of a horror film when we could, if it weren’t for all these pesky remakes, watch real horror films.

Nearly every panelist or guest speaker said as much over the weekend. Tom Savini hated the Friday the 13th remake. Doug Bradley is appalled by the fact that a Hellraiser remake is being developed, and he cited many of the same reasons offered by Hess and Lincoln— it’s simply a vehicle for making money, it risks nothing, and it crowds the market for new and innovative horror films. Horror fans should instead demand that film makers find ways to keep it gritty and make it shocking. This won’t happen, as one panelist said, if directors insist on using eye-candy from the WB network in their films simply for an increase in revenues. As Bradley put it, we need to avoid warmed-over films and instead “go looking for the new again.”

But perhaps the most articulate explanation as to why we should all be suspicious of remakes came from James Marsters, the Spike-y headed vampire from Buffy. He likened the situation to the difference between New York’s glossy, professional, and strictly for-profit Broadway Theater and Chicago’s non-profit Steppenwolfe Theater. While you’re guaranteed to see a good and entertaining show on Broadway, you’re not likely to encounter the sort of gutsy, unpredictable, and challenging theatrical experience offered by Steppenwolfe. A non-profit theater company can take risks with their material, artistry, and audience expectations in a way that other theater companies can’t because they have to be concerned with simply filling their seats every night. By the same logic, remakes will always be problematic because they’re more likely to simply be commercial ventures, and they seldom take the same risks as the original.

On the one hand, I am completely sympathetic with all of these arguments. While I actually liked the Friday remake, I admit that it didn’t have the same impact, or creepiness, or gut-wrenching fun as the original films. And I cannot fathom why anyone would think it’s a good idea to do a remake of Hitchcock’s Psycho, a damn near perfect film, other than it might be a convenient way to make a buck. Still, I can’t help but think that for every big-budget, glossy remake, there are dozens upon dozens of horror films being made that have no mercenary intentions, or any intentions at all other than to scare the bejeesus out of you, or provide an altogether new twist on an old story. 2008’s Dawn of the Dead is a perfect example of a director making a classic film seem new again. And if it weren’t for remakes, we wouldn’t have such modern gems as The Fly, The Thing, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or the many good versions of Dracula. Good or bad, there have always been remakes, and, as the good book says, there’s really nothing new under the sun. Both Hellraiser and Last House on the Left were, technically, remakes of earlier literary works. I think much of what was said at Fangoria stems from what must be the uncomfortable experience of watching your original work turn into a simulation of itself, much like walking into a wax museum and seeing your life-sized replica. Still, the panelists at New York’s Fangoria offered an interesting challenge to horror fans and film makers alike — without at least some risk, there’s no possibility for genuine horror.

Dye of the Dead

Jon
June 14, 2009
Posted by
jon@evilontwolegs.com

Nothing puts a smile on my face faster than watching zombie movies, particularly those directed by George Romero, or those directly linked to his work. However, if you’re like me, you sometimes have a hard time keeping track of which zombies belong to what film. Even within the same film, Romero zombies don’t always behave the same. Some move fast, some move slow, some are mindless, some have remnants of their former personalities, some look almost human, some are little more than piles of goo. It becomes even more confusing once you begin considering those films within the Romero universe, but not created by Romero himself (e.g. the remakes and the insultingly bizarre Day of the Dead 2: Contagion). I therefore present the only safe and guaranteed method of quickly identifying a Romero zombie. You can easily and conveniently place a particular zombie in its appropriate film by simply identifying its color. In fact, by color coding Romero’s zombies, it becomes clear that, much like clothing, certain colors are more fashionable for zombies depending on the decade. The “smurf blue” of the late 70s gives way to the “cuticle pink” of the 2005 zombie season, followed by a return to the old fashioned “baby food green” of 2008. If zombie hues continue to follow this retro trend, I predict zombies will once again be blueberry colored as they were in 1970s by the year 2035, probably right around the time they’ll be doing a second remake of Diary of the Dead (shudder).



Night of the Living Dead (1968)

1950s Black And White
Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Smurf Blue
Day of the Dead (1985)

Dry Mold Green
Night of the Living Dead (1990)

Rotting Pumpkin
Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Banana Slug Yellow
Land of the Dead (2005)

Cuticle Pink
Day of the Dead 2: Contagion (2005)

Magenta
Diary of the Dead (2007)

Apple Pie Crust Brown
Day of the Dead (2008)

Baby Food Green

Horror DVD Releases – Week of June 16th, 2009

Corey
June 14, 2009
Posted by
corey@evilontwolegs.com
(descriptions from netflix & bestbuy)

Pick of the Week

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Deluxe Edition) (1984)
Hockey-masked killer Jason Vorhees returns to terrorize a lakeside family and their rowdy teen neighbors in this fourth installment of the long-running slasher series.

Friday the 13th: Killer Cut (2009)
A man in search of his missing sister stumbles across a deadly secret in the woods surrounding Crystal Lake as Texas Chainsaw Massacre redux duo Michael Bay and Marcus Nispel resurrect one of the silver screen’s most feared slashers — machete-wielding, hockey mask-wearing madman Jason Voorhees.

Friday the 13th, Part V: A New Beginning (Deluxe Edition) (1985)
The murderous spirit of Jason Vorhees lives on in this horror sequel, although the plot hinges on the mystery of whether the killer’s body actually survives.

Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (Deluxe Edition) (1986)
This impressive entry in the popular horror series brings back the relentless killer Jason Voorhees, this time as a supernatural zombie.

Black Magic 2 (1976)
When an evil sorcerer wreaks havoc by raising a small army of zombies and using spells to impregnate young girls with monsters, a pair of scientists attempt to thwart the wizard by uncovering the source of his dark power in this horror flick. Along the way, they must deal with black-magic tricks involving snakes and centipedes let loose underneath their skin, nasty sores oozing with worms, and the sorcerer’s strange obsession with milk.

The Cell 2 (2008)
Maya Castaneda (Tessie Santiago) is an investigator with psychic abilities — a power which she gained during a yearlong coma, the result of her having been victimized by a notorious serial killer known as the Cusp. Now the killer is back in action, and Maya must summon her psychic talents to delve into the dark mind of this notorious maniac, in the hopes of saving his next victim — before time runs out.

Terror at Blood Fart Lake (2009)
When a clutch of college pals retreats to an isolated cabin for a rowdy weekend of debauchery and carnal pleasures, a madman dons his creepy scarecrow costume and begins to prey upon the unsuspecting youths in unusually creative ways. It’s like summer camp, but with death! Can any of the kids escape the shame of being slain at a place called Blood Fart Lake? Nicola Fiore and Josh Suire star in this outrageous lampoon of classic slasher flicks.

Stagknight (2007)
Expecting a raucous bachelor weekend for soon-to-be-wed Brian (Simeon Willis), 10 buddies and paintball team members take off for the country. But Happy Valley Paintball Park manager Fay (Sandra Dickinson) has a more malevolent celebration in mind. As the partying commences, she tricks the guys into summoning an ancient, homicidal guardian knight — whose weekend goal is to impale each of them on his huge sword in this gory British spine-chiller.

Platoon of the Dead (2009)
After narrowly escaping a terrifying zombie attack, three Marines retreat to a remote house, where they meet several mysterious women. When legions of undead descend upon their safe haven, the soldiers bravely battle to survive the vicious onslaught. But little do they know that making it through the night alive is only the beginning of this war. Ariauna Albright, Tom Stedham and Chris Keown star in this gory horror flick.

Murder Loves Killers Too (2008)
When Aggie (Christine Haeberman) and her friends head to an isolated cabin deep in the woods with plans to party hardy, they soon become the target of Big Stevie (Allen Andrews), a benign-looking backwoodsman who harbors a kinky bloodlust for sex and homicide. Now, the kids are in a fight for their lives — especially Aggie, who holds a special attraction for the demented madman. Drew Barnhardt directs this stylish, old-school slasher frenzy.

Killing Ariel (2006)
Enchanted by lusty she-demon Ariel (Axelle Cummings) and lured to a remote house for a weekend of passion, happily married Rick (Michael Brainard) tries to break free of the evil spell by killing the succubus, only to have the demon rise from the dead to keep him ensnared. Time and again Rick slays Ariel, who simply returns to life to continue her game. How can Rick escape a supernatural creature who refuses to die?

I’ll Be There With You (2006)
An idyllic spring break road trip turns into the vacation from hell as Aki (Akihiro Kitamura), Annie (Adarsha Benjamin) and their friends find themselves crossing paths with numerous dangerous characters, including a band of escaped mental patients. Kitamura also writes and directs this genre-bending thriller that features Daniel Baldwin’s menacing performance as a demented ranch owner named Constantine.

Born (2007)
When 21-year-old virgin Mary Elizabeth (Alison Brie) discovers that she’s pregnant, her family thinks it’s a miracle from God. Her sudden homicidal rages, however, portend that she’s carrying an ancient evil in her womb instead. As Mary Elizabeth falls deeper under the spell of her gestating demon-child, she unwittingly prepares the way for all hell to break loose when the creature is born. Richard Friedman directs this supernatural fright fest.

Rifftrax: The Little Shop of Horrors (2009)
Hosts Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett — formerly of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” — take aim at B-movie legend Roger Corman’s infamous black comedy about a down-and-out flower-shop employee (Jonathan Haze) who accidentally grows a man-eating plant. Shot over the course of two days and one night, Corman’s 1960 cult classic features Jack Nicholson playing a loopy masochist in one of his first big-screen performances.

Rifftrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space (2009)
Regarded by many as one of the worst movies ever made, director Ed Wood’s infamous sci-fi “classic” starring the iconic Bela Lugosi is perfect fodder for commentators Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. After a series of failed plans (eight of them, to be exact), a race of menacing aliens sets out to take over the world by raising an army of zombies. Released in 1959, Wood’s infamous film features Lugosi’s final onscreen performance.

Rifftrax: Night of the Living Dead (2009)
Resident wisecrackers Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy set their sarcastic sights on horror pioneer George A. Romero’s beloved 1968 classic about a small town overtaken by a league of bloodthirsty zombies. Shot on a remarkably low budget, Romero’s black-and-white masterpiece broke new ground for the horror genre, exhibiting a level of gore and graphic violence rarely seen in mainstream films.

Rifftrax: House on Haunted Hill (2009)
Former “Mystery Science Theater 3000” host Mike Nelson is joined by cohorts Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett as the hilarious trio takes turns skewering this horror classic from director William Castle, starring Hollywood icon Vincent Price. With the allure of a $10,000 cash prize, five strangers accept an invitation from eccentric millionaire Frederick Loren (Price) to see if they can survive a full night in his spooky haunted mansion.

Rifftrax: Carnival of Souls (2009)
“Mystery Science Theater 3000” alums Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy aim their acerbic wit at this “classic” thriller from director Herk Harvey, augmenting an already-goofy experience with their peanut gallery-style commentary. After surviving a terrible car accident that kills her two best friends, church organist Mary Henry (Candace Hilligoss) is dogged by a series of haunting visions and frightening supernatural episodes.