SAW Greeting Cards Written by John “Jigsaw” Kramer

this week i’m re-watching the entire SAW series, and while doing so i’ve given some serious thought to the film’s antagonist, jigsaw. in addition to being a serial killer, jigsaw is a man of many, many talents. he is a world-class engineer, electrician, doll-maker and puppeteer. he has in-depth knowledge of human anatomy, physiology and the limits of human endurance. he is more than a competent computer hacker, surveillance specialist, video/audio editor and graphic designer.

given this extensive resume, had he chosen another profession other than ‘really, really incredibly complex death-trap designer,’ he surely would have succeeded. personally, after listening to his various recorded messages left for victims which are often delivered in beautiful and flowery prose, i think john “jigsaw” kramer may have missed his calling as… (wait for it)… a greeting card writer.

sure, maybe he would have made more money as an architect, locksmith or interior decorator… but i really think this is a profession where he could have really excelled. below are a few examples (using dialogue from the first film) of what it might have looked like, had he followed this career advice.

get well soon

dental

housewarming

happy birthday!

3 Responses to SAW Greeting Cards Written by John “Jigsaw” Kramer

  1. Andre says:

    Haha! This is most excellent! I love the new home one and happy birthday of course. He really does have a way with words. Oooh Jigsaw–a true Shakespearian poet of our time.

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