Horror DVD Releases – Week of June 1st, 2010

(descriptions from Netflix & BestBuy)

The Wolfman (2010)
Universal Studios resurrects the classic lycanthrope with this tale of a man who experiences an unsettling transformation after he returns to his ancestral home in Victorian-era Great Britain and gets attacked by a rampaging werewolf.

Killer Swarm (2008)
When a swarm of aggressive black bees with highly toxic venom attacks a heavily populated city, scientists race to develop an antidote and prevent mass casualties.

Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! (2006)
A sleazy con-man torments a mentally handicapped youngster who’s obsessed with Easter, only to incur the wrath of a murderous lunatic in a frightening rabbit mask.

Slithis (1978)
Also released under the title Spawn of the Slithis, this film follows the terror that strikes Venice, CA, when a terrible, man-eating monster crawls from its radiated home to ravage the nearby residents.

Isle of the Damned (2008)
While searching a remote island for Marco Polo’s legendary treasure, Det. Jack (Larry Gamber), his adopted son, Billy (Peter Crates), and the expedition’s sponsor, Harold (Patrician Rosa), desperately try to evade a vicious tribe of flesh-eating savages hot on their tail. A spoof of 1980s Italian cannibal films, this wickedly hilarious horror movie features plenty of over-the-top gore and gross-out humor.

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS BLOG POST

maybe it’s just because we all have a innate dislike for authority, but whatever the reason — whenever we’re told explicitly not to do something, there’s always a part of us that wants to do that very thing, just because we were told not to. i have never seen a billboard radio station ad that convinced me to tune to that station, except for one i saw on the way to south carolina about ten years ago. the ad was white text on black that simply said “DO NOT TUNE YOUR RADIO TO 99.7 FM.”

it occurred to me recently that horror film advertising (particularly the vhs box art of the 1980s) occasionally uses similar tactics, most often in the form of warning labels such as “WARNING: CONTAINS GROTESQUE IMAGERY AND EXTREME VIOLENCE!,” which are meant to titillate, not serve as a public service message for the faint of heart. “BANNED IN 46 COUNTRIES!” isn’t mean to scare you off, but to draw you in, because obviously something bad enough that a fourth of the civilized world deems it worthy of censorship means that’s something you just have to see! below you’ll find other examples of warning labels on horror films i was able to find after doing a little creative google image searching (and with a little help from ReelyBored, deadlydolls, FreddysFingers and GdL16)…

THE GATES OF HELL
“This film contains scenes which may be considered shocking. No one under 17 should be present.”
PARANORMAL ENTITY
“WARNING: ACTUAL CRIME SCENE FOOTAGE. CONTAINS VIOLENT AND DISTURBING IMAGES.”
MURDER SET PIECES
“WARNING: SHOCKING, HORRIFIC, CONTROVERSIAL.”
BURIED ALIVE
“WARNING”
ANGUISH
“WARNING: CONTAINS SCENES OF [?], SHOCKING CRIMES AND UNRELENTING TERROR”
FACES OF DEATH
“WARNING: If the brutal and explicit depiction of actual death is upsetting to you, please do not view this film.”
FACES OF DEATH
“BANNED! In 46 Countries! WARNING: This feature contains graphic depictions of autopsies, dismemberment, physical cruelty, human combustion and electrocution. It should not be viewed by children, the elderly or the squeamish.”
DRIVE-IN MASSACRE
“WARNING!!! DRIVE-IN MASSACRE has been deemed by an independent film board to be too terrifying for viewing by the average theatre patron. For this reason, it is suggested that those of you with severe emotional disorders or chronic coronary disfunction NOT see this movie. The risk is entirely yours.”
DRIVE-IN MASSACRE
“WARNING: The Red Stuff On Your Hot Dog May Not Be Ketchup!”
HEADLESS EYES
“TOO GORY FOR THE SILVER SCREEN”
MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY
“BANNED in 31 COUNTRIES. WARNING: THIS MOTION PICTURE IS ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT FILMS EVER MADE. THERE ARE 24 SCENES OF BARBARIC TORTURE AND SADISTIC CRUELTY GRAPHICALLY SHOWN. IF THE PRESENTATION OF DISGUSTING AND REPULSIVE MATERIAL UPSETS YOU, PLEASE DO NOT VIEW THIS FILM.”
BLOODSTALKERS
“WARNING: Due to graphic displays of violence, viewer discretion is advised.”
LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
“TO AVOID FAINTING KEEP REPEATING, IT’S ONLY A MOVIE.. ONLY A MOVIE.. ONLY A MOVIE..”
MARK OF THE DEVIL PART 2
“BANNED IN 19 COUNTRIES!”
MARK OF THE DEVIL
“Guaranteed to upset your stomach. DUE TO THE HORRIFY SCENES NO ONE ADMITTED WITHOUT A VOMIT BAG.”
FAT ETHEL 2
“WARNING: Never come between Ethel and a well-stocked refrigerator!”

Horror DVD Releases – Week of May 25th, 2010

(descriptions from Netflix & BestBuy)

Babysitter Wanted (2008)
When she takes a job babysitting a young boy (Kai Caster) for a night at his family’s remote farmhouse, sweet college co-ed Angie Albright (Sarah Thompson) becomes the target of a scar-covered creep making mysterious phone calls and prowling outside the windows. Angie gets the drop on the would-be killer, but quickly discovers that her nightmare has just begun. Jonas Barnes and Michael Manasseri direct this darkly humorous horror flick.

Cornered (2008)
Suspense and black humor blend as a serial killer stalks Los Angeles convenience marts, where he tortures and slays the occupants. When store owner Steve (Eduardo Antonio Garcia) and his buddies begin a poker game one night, the stakes are higher than they can imagine. The players start to disappear, and when they see one of their friends murdered via security camera footage, the race for survival begins. Steve Guttenberg and James Duval co-star.

Finale (2009)
Refusing to believe that her occultist son died by his own hand, Helen (Carolyn Hauck) follows a twisted trail to an old Victorian swathed in black paint, a booby-trapped bedroom and demonic encounters that ravage her sense of reality in this lushly filmed slasher. Consumed by paranoid visions, and with her daughter, Kathryn (Suthi Picotte), in mortal jeopardy, Helen descends headlong into the shrieking abyss that swallowed her son.

Hard Ride to Hell (2010)
Unsuspecting RV owners who are camping in Texas stumble onto a hideous sacrificial ceremony and lose one of their own before they escape the gang of devil-worshipping bikers led by the sinister Jefe (Miguel Ferrer). Fleeing to a ghost town complete with its own lethal curse, the hapless vacationers find themselves trapped in an epic struggle between good and evil with other players that include an exceedingly odd boy and a possessed preacher.

Someone’s Knocking at the Door (2009)
Returning to the medical school where they were test subjects decades ago, a pair of outrageously twisted serial killers use shockingly brutal sex acts to start killing off a group of drugged-out med students. Now, the students must find a way out of their trippy hallucinations to defend themselves against the maniacs. Noah Segan, Elina Madison and Ezra Buzzington star in this psycho-delic, over-the-top bloodbath from director Chad Ferrin.

The Landlord (2009)
It tough keeping tenants who stick around long enough to pay the rent when you’re a nice guy like Tyler (Derek Dziak), who has to answer to two hungry demons (Mike Madgiak and Refugio Molina) who haunt the place — and keep gobbling up his profits despite his lame attempts to sway them. As a landlord, he’s out of his league. But then a likeable girl (Erin Myers) on the run shows up, looking for a safe place to live.

The Shadow Within (2007)
Warped by grief after one of her twin sons dies at birth, Marie (Hayley J Williams) allows a sinister medium to use the surviving twin, Maurice (Laurence Belcher), to communicate with the other side. But danger beckons when the dead Jacques begins to sap Maurice’s life force. Maurice realizes that although his ghostly brother is merely seeking the love of their parents, he intends to drag his family with him to the realm of the dead.

Butterfly Dreaming (2008)
In the aftermath of his wife’s untimely death in an automobile accident, Rob Pollack (Andrew Bowen) finds his once-peaceful existence unraveling as the line begins to blur between his troubled dreams and an increasingly uncertain reality. But is Rob’s confusion a result of his sorrow or his guilt? Missy Crider and James McDaniel also star in this tense thriller from writer-director Rufus Williams.

Tell-Tale (2008)
In this thriller inspired by Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” Josh Lucas stars as Terry, a single dad who’s kept alive by another man’s heart — a scenario that suits him fine until he discovers that the ticker’s original owner was murdered. Worried that he might come to a similar end, Terry embarks on a desperate search for the donor’s killer in this Michael Cuesta-helmed film produced by Ridley and Tony Scott.

City of the Living Dead: Special Edition (1980)
This gruesome horror film from cult director Lucio Fulci posits a priest’s suicide opening the gateway to Hell, freeing bloodthirsty zombies to roam the town of Dunwich.

The Hanged Man (2009)
An internet suicide pact becomes a horrifying ordeal for seven desperate souls in this independent chiller from director Neil H. Weiss.

New on Blu-Ray

Horror Community Highlights – May 21, 2010



email suggestions for next week’s community highlights to jon@evilontwolegs.com

Horror Remakes By The Same Director

When we talk of horror remakes, the connotation is usually negative. What typically comes to mind are those examples where young, hip directors tackle a classic of the genre, trying to revamp a film we love for the modern era — and usually failing (Rob Zombie’s Halloween comes to mind). It’s natural to be skeptical of a film you love being remade without the input of the original creator — usually the best you can hope for is that the new director has the proper understanding of and respect for the source material as the fans do. However, in some bizarre cases, horror directors have actually chosen to remake their own films. Rumor has it that Cronenberg is remaking The Fly (a film which was already a remake), and recently Wes Craven produced the remake of The Last House on the Left. But these aren’t the first times horror directors have revisited their own films. Here’s a short list of horror films remade by the original director.

Alfred Hitchcock: The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934) and The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

Hitchcock had a brilliant film career in England before he became the famous Hollywood auteur, but most people agree that his Hollywood era remake of The Man Who Knew Too Much is superior. While it’s certainly more polished and professional, I’ve always liked the grittier, noir tone of the original. And there’s no creepier villain than Peter Lorre. Still, I have to admire a director with enough confidence to so radically remake the plot, characterization, and style of what was already a terrific film.

Takashi Shimizu: Ju-on: The Grudge (2002) and The Grudge (2004)

Ju-On was already an established franchise in Japan when Shimizu opted to remake this particular installment for American audiences. In doing so, Shimizu revitalized horror in America, helping to start the trend of J-Horror remakes. When I saw Poltergeist as a kid, I was scared for several days. I think seeing The Grudge would have put me in a coma.

Michael Haneke: Funny Games (1997) and Funny Games (2008)

I’m not sure why it took Haneke a decade to remake Funny Games, but I’m glad he did. I’ve never seen the original Austrian version, but the remake is supposedly a shot-for-shot replica. I’d wager that he wanted to remake the film so precisely because he knew it was an under-appreciated masterpiece of cinematic manipulation. I don’t think I’ve ever had a film get so deeply under my skin.

Ole Bornedal: Nattevagten (1994) and Nightwatch (1997)

If this were a list of films from the 1990s that are never talked about anymore, Night Watch would be at the top at that list. Even with Ewan McGreggor, Josh Brolin and Nick Nolte, it’s a forgettable film. By all accounts, the Danish original, while probably seen even less than the remake, is far superior. I suppose the lesson here is that sometimes throwing lots of money and all-star actors at a quirky, low-budget film can ruin it, even when it’s handled by the original director.

Hideo Nakata: Ringu 2 (1999) and The Ring 2 (2005)

Nakata did not direct the American remake of his original Ringu. However, after a host of Ringu sequels and adaptations in Japan, the franchise began to decline. Perhaps in an attempt to give the franchise new life in America, he did decide to direct the The Ring 2 after having already made Ringu 2 in Japan (confusingly, the two films have largely different plotlines). Given the reception of The Ring 2 here, maybe he shouldn’t have bothered.

George Sluizer: Spoorloos (1988) and The Vanishing (1992)

Long before Sandra Bullock was marrying philanderers and winning Oscars for The Blind Side, she made a brief, but terrific appearance as Kiefer Sutherland’s kidnapped girlfriend in Sluzier’s remake of his Dutch thriller. However, a pre-Dude Jeff Bridges steals the film as the depraved but strangely likeable psychologist. Fans of the original film tend to HATE the American remake, citing it as yet another Hollywood bastardization of a grittier and more artistic masterpiece.

Horror DVD Releases – Week of May 18th, 2010

(descriptions from Netflix & BestBuy)

The Disappeared (2008)
When he begins having disturbing visions of his missing brother, Tom, teenager Matthew (Harry Treadaway) tries to understand what’s happening. By bravely reopening old wounds from the past, Matthew discovers frightening horrors that must be dealt with immediately. This British psychological horror film also stars Tom Felton as Matthew’s best friend, Simon, and Ros Leeming as trusting next-door neighbor Amy.

Southern Gothic (2008)
A dejected strip club bouncer attempts to atone for the sins of his past by protecting a little girl from a vampiric preacher in Tooth and Nail director Mark Young’s moody horror film.

Haunting of Winchester House (2009)
A family working as caretakers at the notorious 160 room mansion discovers the reason it’s considered one of the most haunted locations in the country when their daughter is abducted by a malicious entity.

Horror Film Quotes With The Word “Pants” Inserted Part 2

“Darling. Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just gonna bash your pants in.”
~ Jack Torrence, THE SHINING
“I have come here to chew pants and kick ass… and I’m all out of pants.”
~ Nada, THEY LIVE
“He doesn’t want us to cut through our chains. He wants us to cut through our
pants!”
~ Dr. Gordon, SAW
“We traced the call! It’s coming from inside the pants!”
~ Police officer, WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
“She might have fooled me, but she didn’t fool my pants.”
~ Norman Bates, PSYCHO
“A naked American man stole my pants.”
~ Little boy, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
“We’re not talking about any ordinary prisoner! We are talking about pants on two legs.”
~ Dr. Loomis, HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
part one

Horror DVD Releases – Week of May 11th, 2010

(descriptions from Netflix)

Daybreakers (2009)
Earth’s population is up against a vicious plague that’s transforming everyone into vampires and draining the world of an increasingly precious resource: blood. Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) and “Elvis” Cormac (Willem Dafoe) must decide what happens next. As the human race count nears zero, will vampires feast on the few men and women who remain, or could science hold the key to a less destructive solution? Sam Neill and Claudia Karvan co-star.

Legion (2010)
In the wake of an apocalypse of major proportions, a motley crew of survivors (including Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson and Kate Walsh) ekes out a living at an abandoned truck stop in the desert, never suspecting that the pregnant woman walking among them is carrying the Messiah. Paul Bettany co-stars in this thriller as the archangel Michael, who was sent to Earth to steer humankind away from darkness and toward the light.

Horror Community Highlights – May 7, 2010



email suggestions for next week’s community highlights to jon@evilontwolegs.com

Top Five Rock Star Cameos in Horror Films

1. The Misfits as The Misfits in Bruiser (2000)

Bruiser is George Romero’s underrated gem of a movie that pays tribute to the stylized horror of such European masters as Dario Argento and Jess Franco. It also features a rowdy, raucous musical finale that includes a cameo by The Misfits. They do such a good job in the film, that Romero agreed to direct the video for “Scream,” the song they perform in the film.

2. Alice Cooper as an insane homeless man in The Prince of Darkness (1987)

This is arguably Carpenter’s “creepiest” film, with a menacing atmosphere that reminds me of H.P. Lovecraft. It’s also the original shock-rocker Alice Cooper’s film debut, and he’s terrific as the psychotic, killer bum with a talent for artistic crucifixions.

3. Bauhaus in The Hunger (1983)

Long before Twilight turned them into effervescing teens and little league baseball players, vampires were sexy and sophisticated adults, as evident in this slick, stylized appearance of Bauhaus frontman Peter Murphy in The Hunger’s opening title sequence.

4. Meatloaf as Eddie in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

I’ve heard that until Meatloaf took over the role of Eddie in 1974, no actor had been able to successfully sing “Hot Patootie” because of its high vocal range and rapid-fire lyrics. Technically, his appearance in the subsequent film version of the show isn’t exactly a cameo, but the way he owns the role of the free-spirited Eddie does prove once again that rock stars seem right at home on the silver screen.

5. Henry Rollins as Colonel Dale Murphy in Wrong Turn 2 (2007)

Henry Rollins is the only noteworthy thing about this movie. He’s a full-throttle bad-ass from the moment we see him on screen, and my favorite moment in the film involves his over-the-top, commando-style escape from the mutant hillbillies.