Category Archives: Vampires
Horror Film Quotes With The Word “Pants” Inserted: Near Dark Edition
“It ain’t what’s goin’ on, son. It’s what’s comin’ off. Your pants. Clean off. ” ~ Severen “You’re not gonna look so good… with your pants ripped off.” ~ Jesse “I’m down to my last inch of pants!” ~ Severen “You have any idea what it’s like to be a big man on the inside [...]
Most Memorable Horror One Liners Part One
I watched the original Predator a few days ago, a film I adored as a kid, but hadn’t seen since then. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I STILL enjoyed it. The characters are outrageous and exaggerated but likable, the story is simple, and the action is well-paced. But it’s the incredible one-liners that [...]
Where Sequels Go To Die
Even the most illustrious horror franchise sometimes run out of ideas, and when they do, there’s apparently a rule in Hollywood that you must set your next sequel in either A) outer space or B) the Old West. I’ll admit that if they ever set a Jaws sequel in the Old West, I’d be pretty [...]
Bella and Jacob and the Magical Twilight Pizza Wrench
at this point the phrases “TWILIGHT series” and “ridiculous bullshit” are pretty much synonymous. last year i listed the top five silliest things about TWILIGHT, but that didn’t begin to scrape the surface of the levels of absurdity in that film — and didn’t even take into account the second film in the series, NEW [...]
Sparkly Dinosaurs
i recently found a year old forums thread on somethingawful.com unambiguously titled “screenshots from twilight with raptors photoshopped in!” you need an archive forums account at the site to view that thread, but i’ve reproduced some of my favorites of those images submitted below. one might think that long extinct carnivorous dinosaurs might not fit [...]
Golden Turkey: Top Five Silliest Things About Twilight
there is a lot of hatred in the horror community for the film adaptation of stephenie meyer’s tale of brooding, day-walking and oh-so-glittery vampires. but, i have a confession to make. i like twilight. before you strip me of my horror blogger/movie fan/y-chromosome cred, let me explain why. when john at zomboscloset sent out a [...]
Films That Defined My Childhood
1. Dracula (1931) When I was five years old, the Book Mobile came to my elementary school every other month or so. I couldn’t yet read anything more advanced than “Run Spot Run,” so I never got all that excited about it, until one day I noticed this big, glossy book with lots of photos [...]
Hammer Glamour Winner
after a very complicated and technologically sophisticated random selection procedure (i.e., i put everyone’s name on a scrap of post-it note, placed them in a plastic bowl and had a co-worker pick one), we’ve decided on a winner for our hammer glamour book give-away! in addition to running one of the most stylish and polished [...]
Hammer Glamour
titan books was kind enough to send us a preview copy of their upcoming book hammer glamour. the book details a bit of the history of hammer studios before giving a comprehensive list of the starlets that made the films famous. each actress is given their own filmography and biography, complete with gorgeous photographs and [...]
The Best of Twilight Rifftrax